Abandonment
by BlueBlood93
Summary: He never thought Blair of all people will ever abandon him. So even though his life was perfect, he got Eva back, his friends forgave him, he couldn't be the Chuck Bass he was with Blair. He never knew he will ever be associating abandonment with her. AU after Jenny disclose the real reason for break up between Chuck and Blair.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. Welcome to my story 'abandonment'. I do not own any of the character in the story yet! It is just a one shot for now but can be more if received the type of response I need to fuel my need to complete it.

Anyhow it will be a beautiful journey nonetheless.

On with the story then!

She wasn't angry, because angry won't do her justice. She was furious and she wanted to scream, wanted to hurt herself and wanted to hurt him because even though he knew his reputation is going downhill, his lips were turned into a smirk and she was feeling hollow inside.

She always knew Jenny Humphrey will be her Achilles hill, what she didn't know was that Chuck will have a hand in it too.

On how Jenny lost her virginity to Chuck shouldn't have ever made its way to gossip girl.

"Who are you?" she asked not bothering to hide the tears.

"Your worst nightmare" his reply was simple. Simple and cold, she felt the hatred coming off and she knew he wasn't the man she loved and lived with.

"Stop these instant Chuck!" she demanded, ordered, repeating the words again and again until she couldn't talk anymore. Her eyes felt heavy, her soul felt heavy, never in her life she wanted to stick her finger in her throat and let the troubles be put aside by whatever the swallowed food will be coming out just as much as she wanted to in that moment..

She looked at him again, these time her eyes begging, her voice pleading "Stop these instant Chuck" she whispered.

She was ashamed of what she remains in front of him but it's the truth of her life.

"No, you took what…" "ENOUGH!" she screamed now.

He was startled. He wasn't expecting this reaction.

She laughed like a maniac now "I get it now!" she nodded as if talking to herself.

"It's about Eva right, fine, I get it. You finally found an _angel _who knew you, loved you for who you were and I ran her out of town. This is what it is about. Well guess what Chuck Bass, you are wrong." She held her breathe and looked at him, fire in her eyes.

He was so hell bent on uttering those words to her not caring what she felt when she said them out loud, she felt as if she was peeling her own skin, one layer at a time, let him have a piece of his own medicine for once.

"Before anyone saw these hollow vessel as a human being, I knew him, LOVED him, stood by him when his enemies were daggering him. When HE was on self destruction path, I pulled him down as he screamed his name and thought nobody cared, I stood by him. It was I not your perfect Eva or any other floozy who you have so easily shared your fluid with." She was disgusted now, to realize she loved someone like him. Every venom coming out of her mouth was everything she has bottled up inside till now.

He was not showing any emotion, he was poker face, something he has perfected to showcase in front of his father, the big old Bart Bass.

Bart must be so happily rotting in his grave now to see his son had an ability to be ruthless but disappointed still since he is using that ability to try to bring a girl down.

She spat again, those words that were sure to cut him fresh.

"And what the fuck are you going on about war and limits?"

She was just few inches away from him now, he don't remember her moving at all.

She clutched his cheek into her small hand so tightly, he is sure to get bruises.

He loved bruises but not the type that Blair Waldorf gives.

"Had I driven your precious angelic Eva away which led you to trade me for a hotel?"

"Was I filling your head with poisonous thoughts against Eva, when you decided to sleep with Jenny Humphrey?" and suddenly she stopped, her eyes wide as if realization hit her hard.

Of course, these is all because of Eva, she took a shuddering breath and released it, then took it again and released it and kept doing it until her heart stopped hurting.

It will never stop hurting, who is she kidding.

"I am sorry" she was quite now. She was no longer crying and Chuck decided to speak in that moment.

"Blair, you don't.." but before he could say anything again, she raised her hand and stopped him from wasting her precious time. She's got a speech to prepare, a plane to catch, Serena to deal with, Chuck Bass has to for once in his life stop talking.

He saw her eyes, they were red but hollow. Soulless and emotionless but she still stood firm, holding her ground against him.

"I took Eva away from you, I got rid of the one person you actually LOVED" she spit, "I deserved it. All of it" she was shaking her head again as if talking to herself.

Now he was confused, surely she isn't forgetting what they had. Maybe after all she has gone insane. She was always walking on the edge when things got hard, maybe these time she has gone crazy.

She retreated without uttering another word and he couldn't understand what the hell was happening with her.

She turned once again to say the word he don't know now but will forever be tattooed on him, on his soul.

"You will get your precious Eva back but Chuck, I am abandoning you!" she walked away.

He didn't believe her words when he went to her home late at night, it was Serena weeping in her bed, clutching their picture frame to her chest.

"What do you want Chuck?" she was angry and sad, her face red and tears streaming down her face as she looked down on him. As if he was pathetic excuse for a human being. The way she used to look at him before they bonded over Georgina.

"Aah the bodyguard" he mocked with a cruel smile. "I am here to talk to Blair" he looked everywhere expecting to see Blair make a grand entrance out of her bathroom, her bitch face on but what he wasn't expecting was for Serena to shove him, he tumbled out of the door, but still didn't believe Blair's promise to him.

"She is gone, thanks to you" she said and went back to her crying, like his presence held no meaning to her.

He waited few minutes more and when Serena felt him staring at her, she stood up and closed door on his face, it wasn't necessary but he decided to forgive his step sister, for now at least.

He was sure, she will come back within a week, after all she had called it her kingdom, her home.

Even when he was Henry Prince, a philanthropist and she has asked him to come, she has called New York her city, she was possessive like that.

But when week one passed and she didn't make her way into tabloid, he started worrying and started texting her.

_Where are U?_

_Come home this instance._

_Are you ok?_

_I am worried Blair. Whatever issues we have, let's resolve them by talking…_

_Stop this charade, and testing my patience. I'll drag you back here if I have to._

He was just typing new empty threats with so much pressure, he was sure the phone will break in his hand but who was he kidding _abandoning_ was echoing all around him now.

_Stop texting Chuck! She left her phone with me_

_Serena_

He scowled and threw the phone away, threw all the empty or full or half full bottles away. Turned the table, punched the hole in his wall and probably broke few fingers but nothing was more aloud than abandoning to him. He might have won the battles but she was clearly winning the war.

He stood still, watching the destruction that was his penthouse now and heard the elevator ding, hoping to see her face, big, pearly teeth showing smile on display, to show him, the effect she has on him but it was just Nate, who couldn't utter a word at the scene taking place in front of him.

Nate pulled him aside like he was porcelain, maybe he was, maybe he wasn't, Blair wasn't porcelain though, no since she is behind the destruction of his penthouse, how can she be?

_ABANDONING – QUIT, WITHDRAW, DESERT, BAIL OUT, CUT LOOSE, he read._

_REMAIN, PRESERVE, STAY, CONTINUE, BEGIN, he wished._

3 weeks after her departure, when his only constant companion was Scotch and Nate, when he wasn't busy with college, or Juliet, or Serena or even Dan, he heard the elevator open expecting his best friend/ roommate/ his only contact to human being aside from Bass Industry people to come in however when he heard the heels click clack, his ears perked up and his heart started beating furiously and even in his alcohol induced haze, he felt his lips tugging upward but then they stopped midway.

Standing in front of him was a blonde goddess, her clothes were as simple as ever, so was her face, make up free, she was clutching onto 2 suitcase in her hand, wide grin on her face, unshed tears on the verge of falling down, she dropped everything and ran towards him, throwing herself at him, he caught her so easily, but the heart that was on the edge of jumping out of his chest was giving just a dull thud, his smile has turned upside down, the body felt wrong against him.

"Eva" he whispered and hated how he wanted to not see blonde hair but brunette curls, he wanted to whisper Blair and kiss Blair and have Blair in his arms but wasn't he hell bent on destroying Blair for Eva so what now?

"Oh Chuck" she took his face into her hand and kissed his lips softly, it felt wrong but he let her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked confused and scared to hear her.

"Blair came to find me, persuaded me Chuck, I didn't knew you loved me these much" she kissed his lips again, these time he responded and kissed her back, she isn't Blair his mind screamed.

Abandoning, the whole world was screaming now, so he closed his eyes and tried blocking the noise, when his eyes opened, he saw brown eyes staring at him, concerned, her brunette hair were falling onto her face, but why does she feel wrong, as if it was another person?

"Chuck" she said again and now he saw Eva with a look of concern on her face, it's Eva who came, not Blair.

But Blair made Eva come to him, she left him but gave him a constant reminder of her absence in his heart.

"Let's get you some sleep" she whispered and took his hand and went into his room.

He didn't feel it or realize when his head hit the pillow but as soon as it did, his eyes closed and he went into very needed slumber, unaware of the world, seeing a thin, beautiful silhouette escaping his grasp.

However he can feel a sentence filling the atmosphere, he concentrated then heard her melodious voice, felt the pain, betrayal, resentment, determination and hatred too.

**You will get your precious Eva back but Chuck, I am abandoning you!**

**Good morning UES, I heard it through a grapevine that our dark knight has got his pure angel back, while our Queen B is still MIA.**

**And if you think, these is just the end of their story, you might want to think again, just because a story feel like an end doesn't mean it can't be a beginning.**

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl**

So how was it? Did you like it? Shall I continue? Do tell!


	2. Chapter 2

You will get your precious Eva back but Chuck, I am abandoning you!

The ghost, that's what is remained of the Blair that Chuck knew. Her voice, her face, her laughter seems like a thing of the old life, where he felt happy. He always knew Blair was one of the cruel one, he didn't knew her cruelty ran so deep, and yet he is the reason she ran away. He tried everything, every resource he had, his people, they did everything to find her but came out with nothing, he was left with the conclusion that she just dissolved into thin air. As if she was the fragment of his imagination. A beautiful mirage he built to feel loved. However all the pictures they clicked proved him otherwise; he actually fucked up and let the love of his life walk away. He felt utterly alone even in the presence of Nate or even Serena who begrudgingly used to spent time with him.

"Why are you even here?" he asked, a drink in his hand at 9 in the morning.

"Why? Should I walk out of your life too?" Serena lashed out at him without thinking twice. Her words pierced him like knife and he was ready to gulp down the scotch only for it to get snatched by her. She chugged it down as if drinking water and that's when he saw her, really saw her eyes. She may be angry with him but just like him, she is utterly alone as well.

"We sure are some sibling" he said pouring himself another shot of scotch.

"Whatever Chuck, I am out of here" was the only words he heard when she made a way towards the lift and disappeared. If only he knew this was the last time he will ever be able to talk to Serena, that she will just shut him off like he used to do all the time. Until now he wasn't aware how much Serena meant to him. She was probably the only person aside from Nate he confided in when it came to his feelings for Blair, the very first person who encouraged him to talk to the love of his life.

It was probably past 12 when his elevator dinged again and he waited for Nate to show his face but what he heard was the click of heels, he may be drunk to his last breathe by now but he knows what is going around him and he damn well heard the heels.

"Blair" he whispered. He expected to see her, sauntering in like she own the damn place, but she does own the place didn't she. Everything within his apartment is what she made of it. If the apartment has his favorite painting then it very well does contain the curtain of her choice or the cloth that Chuck usually wear.

His lips tugged up only to see not brunette but blonde goddess in his apartment.

"Eva?" he was confused. What was she doing here, that too with 2 suitcases? Everything was becoming so confusing and his head was spinning crazy, that's when he felt her touch him.

"Oh Chuck" she took his face into her hand and kissed his lips softly, it felt wrong but he let her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked confused and scared to hear her.

"Blair came to find me, persuaded me Chuck, I didn't knew you loved me this much" she kissed his lips again, this time he responded and kissed her back, she isn't Blair his mind screamed and before he could register anything he felt his head hit the pillow and he was drifting towards a sleep.

"Please let me dream about Blair" he wished and that's when he heard her, saw her, he could touch her. She was spread over his couch, just his shirt on.

While she was flipping pages of a fashion magazine with one hand, her other hand was buried in his hair, massaging the scalp with her nails. His eyes were fixated on her, etching all her beauty in his mind, he was aware he was dreaming, the only place he will get any love from her was when he closes his eyes and let his subconscious take over.

The 2 years since Blair walked away passed by achingly slow as well as freaking fast. By now, Eva adored a beautiful stone on her ring finger, drinking champagne while laughing with Lily. She had a big smile on her face as Lily lifted her hand to admire the ring.

"What a beautiful sight!" Serena said coming to his side, she had malice in her voice and he knew the reason. Ever since the return of Eva, Serena has hardly said a word to him and kept her distance.

"_I hate him Nate" _he once heard her say. _"He drove Blair away, and here he is flaunting that.. that thing" _he walked away without hearing another word.

"I thought you won't come" he said without giving her a glance, he was still looking at Eva, waiting for the butterflies, one of god's creature that Blair loved make their way, none did but her name sure made elephant dance on his heart.

"You thought right" she didn't give any other explanation on the matter and they both stood in silent.

The silent with Serena was beautiful, he felt peaceful. Her absence and silence were driving him crazy, after losing Blair, losing Serena will be hard to handle. But he doesn't know how to express what he feels. He don't know how to say the words that need to be uttered, don't know how to tell her how sorry he is for the absence of Blair and that he needs her in his life.

Eva was chatting away with Lily almost animatedly and he could see her bouncing with excitement when lily whispered something into her ear and laughed a little making Eva laugh as well.

This life Chuck has is the best life, he is surrounded by loved ones, and yet he feels incomplete, there are fragments of him missing, lost forever, never to be seen again, for somebody who could buy all the glitz and glamour he feels the hole that Eva can't fulfill no matter how hard she try and how sincerely he wish she could.

"I am going to Paris" Serena whispered beside him, and he knew what it was all about, he wanted to ask if he can join her, wanted to ask he she heard from Blair, there were thousand question running through his brain but none came out of his mouth. "Oh" his reply fell out of his mouth and stayed beside him, stinging him, vision blurred he felt a burning sensation in his mouth and his hand caught another glass of scotch from a waiter who was passing by.

"Oh" he felt his lips move and that was it.

"When she comes back" Serena started and Chuck can't help but admire her determination for the use of 'when' instead of 'if', "you better not try to mess with her" she looked at him now, really looked at him and made sure the message was loud and clear and just like that she was gone, gone away leaving the party, gone for days without a word, just like that.

**As I was writing the pros and cons of continuing the blog after the adieu of my favorite, Blair Waldorf, one of you naughty sent me a pic of her getting into a town car with a minion? And here I thought this summer will be a walk through a memory lane of being grounded. Make sure to put on your sun screen people, I have a hunch it will be a burn to some. Till next time..**

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl**

After a year and 17 days I am back and yes it will be a long shot fanfic. Hope I'll be able to give you readers what you deserve. Ill update chapter every week on Monday so look forward to it. Reviews are always welcomed and criticism is a path to growth. Do share what you think, guys.. I'll be waiting.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Okay got to say I am sorry for not updating last week and on time this week as well. But life doesn't wait for the story I am writing now does it. I was a bit busy as we are renovating our home a bit, and my studies so I can actually hold a decent job, but enough of my problems and on to my story. Hope it is as good as I feel writing it. Do review. Constructive criticism is always welcomed and needed I believe. I don't own Gossip Girl except Phoenix who's got her own story to tell you, readers. Hope you enjoy it.**

New York. It has always stood out for Blair. The bustling street filled with beautiful people tucking their beautiful problem away within the confinement of their soul, laughter bouncing off the roof and tingling the senses of an almost asleep person, lights burning brighter than the sun and streets busy with honking and chattering, it was a music really and the air crisp and the right amount of cold which sends a shivering darling into her lover's warm arm. It was always beautiful and will always be. But New York was also a nightmare for some, every corner sparking a different heartache for many. Serena elbowed the girl sitting beside her to gauge her reaction to the changes or maybe consistency she left behind 2 years ago.

"So..?" she uttered waiting for Blair to say something.

"It's beautiful" Blair whispered, her voice heavy with emotion, tears on the verge of falling. However if there's anyone who knows how to hide feelings it's Blair and so Serena saw Blair gulp down the pain and ache and smile widely at the thing their companion was pointing at. The so called minion on gossip girl blog was Blair's friend/roommate Phoenix who is still a surprise to Serena. Blair was never the type to be friends with girls like Phoenix.

"O mi god I can't believe I am in New York" she screamed to the utter dismay of their driver who coughed after a while so as to make her stop.

"Why the hell have I never been to New York before?" she questioned to no one in particular

"Well…" but before Blair could aid utter another word, Phoenix clasped her hand onto Blair's mouth silencing her, Phoenix's brown eyes glaring daggers in Blair's direction.

It was fun to watch both of them argue around like sisters and suddenly the smile fell off Serena's face. She remembers the time not long ago when Blair and she had the same tuning.

Shaking her head, Serena looked back at the quibbling girls to see Phoenix send a middle finger Blair's way, who couldn't help but snort at the action.

Blair looked at Serena to laugh and whisper "Real Classy" which didn't fell on deaf ears and they heard "Real Bitchy" escape Phoenix's mouth.

Serena never felt jealousy in her life when it came to Blair, it was usually other way around but she can see, the way Blair looked at Phoenix. The girls were each other confidante. Holding each other tight, keeping each other strong and Serena felt like a third wheel. Like a person looking from outside in.

However Blair was the flame and Serena felt like a tossed out doll in the winter night, so she just held onto Blair's arm and laid her head on Blair's shoulder, who sighed in content. The moment was comfortable, Serena could feel the warmth oozing out of Blair and Serena's soul was sucking it all in, quenching the thirst that was absent for 2 long years without her best friend. A lazy smile graced her lips and she closed her eyes. She felt Blair move and opened her eyes to see Blair extend her hand towards Phoenix who without looking held onto her hand and she felt the same twitch in her heart.

There are many synonyms for what she was feeling.

Jealousy. Resentment. Envy.

She took a deep breath and try to push the feeling away. Bury it within the soul. The Blair is within the arms reach, she reminded herself and snuggled more into embrace.

"I will show you all my favorite places" Blair whispered as she too gazed out of the window to which Phoenix gave her a grin and nod both unaware of the war the blonde beauty held within

He sighed, seems like that is the only thing he can do at his own will. Nate felt miserable even if he doesn't look it. He turned to look out the window to stare at nothing but the blur.

"The world waits for no one Nathaniel" he can hear his grandfather's voice loud and clear. And who is he to know anything about the world and how it work. And so he just does what he is told to do. Like a lone leaf blowing here and there with the breeze, unaware of its goal and meaning, unaware of what he is needed for exactly.

He still remembers that moment. They were barely 8 years old, unaware of the cruelty world can bestow upon others for its own amusement. Unaware of the dark whispers that goes on behind the curtains, where music is lively and food is fresh. They were so tiny and just so innocent?

_They were at Blair's, more specifically in her room, the freshly renovated room. It fitted Blair very well. He was lying on her bed, shoes off of course, munching on the macaroons, stuck in his thoughts. Serena's wild untamed hair were still bouncing in his vision while Chuck was vocalizing his thoughts on why nanny should be hot when he felt her presence. The presence that needs to be answered and so he looked up at her and smiled, she smiled back. She always smiled back at him and Chuck has once told him, she is into him so she was extra sweet to her because he was into her too, only Chuck didn't knew then._

"_Hey" Nate whispered patting the seat next to him beside the box of macaroons he brought for her because she was into them too. And so she made her way to him, took one into her little hands and bite into it, her eyes alight from the small happiness he gave her._

"_So what you guys were doing?" Blair asked looking at Serena who was busy trying to walk in the heels her mother brought this weekend._

"_Trying to find an answer to Nate's question" Serena muttered as she tumbled before gaining balance, a grin ever present on her face._

"_What question?" Blair asked and Chuck came onto her other side, an arm slinging onto her shoulder._

"_Yeah Nate tell her" Chuck was teasing him now._

"_Umm..well what do you want to be when you grow up?" Nate asked her, shy and embarrassed, of course she wants to be a lawyer just like her father, he knew always._

"_Well.. as happy as I am in this moment" she grinned biting onto the macaroon again, her answer making him grin himself, he felt his heart shattering in its cage._

_As happy as I am in this moment.. The words were forever ingrained in his mind, even if the answer made chuck scoff which started an argument between Blair and Chuck. They couldn't realize the impact the words have on Nate._

The memory, the moments they are the happy pills, an euphoria which leaves a person behind wanting more and he too was missing the good old days when everything was so simple and still so beautiful.

He felt his phone vibrate and opened to see a blast from gossip girl. The blast was from an hour ago and he knew in that moment, he need to cancel the meeting and turn around. But should he? Its an important meeting. His grandfather have big plans for him and this meeting is everything he need to set his career. But do he need it? Really?

Before he can even fanthom what his body was doing, he had his phone on his ear, ringing, waiting for the receiver to pick up fast.

"Nathaniel?" he heard the confusion, he knew his grandfather would be pissed at what he is about to do but

"Sorry grandfather but there's something I need to do. You may need to reschedule the meeting."

"Are you serious?" William hissed.

"Haven't been more serious in my entire life" and with that he ended the call. He will deal with his grandfather later, Blair comes first.

Dan felt his hand twitch in his pocket, a nervous sweat breaking from his forehead. He knew coming to Blair's penthouse at the moment is stupidity, he will have to greet people he don't feel like seeing at the moment or ever if he can have his way, or maybe he wants to see Serena.

Isn't that why he here?

The beautiful Serena who needed him the most after Blair's departure, the one and only he pushed away because she cannot make up her mind about either him or Nate, his enticing angel who has no regret leaving him in a blink of an eye to be enveloped in the arms of Nate.

Stop imagining it, he scolded himself and took a long breathe as the elevator dings opened.

The first thing he saw was somebody already standing in front of him, at the entrance of the elevator, Blair he thought but seeing the leather jacket and skinny fit jeans, he knew she isn't Blair.

He coughed to grab her attention and she turned around so fast that her hair whipped him in the face.

"Oh shot I am sorry" she whispered, touching at Dan's face. He pushed her hands away and coughed a bit more, feeling the heat burning his cheeks.

"It..its alright" he whispered looking quizzically at the girl looking at him with confusion. They stood at the entrance, staring the other down, she seems like she was taking in his appearance, studying him, her mouth set in a frown of sort.

"You…Dan?" she asked then and he was surprised that she knew him.

"Umm yeah….i…I am Dan" he felt himself getting more embarrassed for what reason only lord knows.

"And you are?" he asked then.

"Oh..ofcourse.. Phoenix..Hi" she extended her hand that he took but before he can shake they moved their head towards the elevator as it dinged again.

"Wait when did it went down" he thought.

His eyes widened as he saw Chuck come out, his expression unreadable, Nate behind him loosening his tie, a nervous energy electrifying the atmosphere with its presence, suddenly a door above their head swing open and they all heard two girly voices giggling as they were talking about some incident that happened in their youth.

"You are so lying" Dan heard Serena say with excitement as Blair was trying to hush her and then girls eyes fell on the people occupying the entrance, Dan and Phoenix still in the handshake, Chuck glaring daggers at Blair, while Nate waved his hand from behind them all, a bit awakwardly.

"You guys" Blair whispered her eyes watering…"Welcome Home" she smiled.

Welcome Home Indeed.

**As I was looking through my research trying to figure out who the hell our mystery commoner is, one of you sent me a picture of Chuck and Nate heading into the kingdom of our Queen. Are we in for a drama or are we in for a drama… I will keep you all feeding if you will give me the key ingredient I promise. You know you love me.. your one and only.**

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl.**


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